Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Really Chunky Tomato Sauce

Pizza is the Two-Face to my Batman. Sometimes it has absolutely incredible sauce that is flavored right and is liquefied enough to pass through a contact lens (Harvey Dent, or the good side). But sometimes... nay, MANY times it is chunky to some degree. Let me take this opportunity to say that I can detect any chunk in any sauce or dish at any time... no matter how much you Normies (that's what I call normal eaters) think I "won't notice" it. There are some tomato sauces that have little chunks and that is annoying enough... its like the pizza is teasing me. But every now and then some bastard puts damn-near full tomatoes in the sauce. It's "sauce" people!! It's supposed to be a liquid!! If I wanted that many chunks on my pizza I would have asked the nice likely-not-really-Italian fellow making it to just throw salsa on top. Pizza should not taste like you threw shredded cheese and croutons on top of a whole tomato, but some jerks still feel like making it that way.

Case in point... a few of us are working late, so a couple pizzas from Uno's were obtained. I wasn't all that hungry so I wasn't planning on having any but a slice was forced upon me when it turned out that they screwed up the order and we were getting an entire other pizza for free. I was told it was a "meat and cheese" pizza so I walked up to get a slice and I saw a lot more red solid-looking things than I had expected. Upon further exploration, these were in fact baby hampster-sized pieces of tomoato (now you know what goes through my head every time I bite into a chunky something in my food) and I decided to decline. Little did I know, the choice was not mine to make.

What I Like:
Catsup, Ketchup and Chef Boyardi pasta sauces.What I Don't Like:
Any solid form of tomato.Who Made Me Try It:
My buddy Dre convinced made me try it... is that a hate crime?The Results:
My pulse is still at about the same level that it was prior to consumption, but I think I might have a slight surly face on now. I was quoted as saying several times "I can tell they're in there!" It wasn't awful, if only due to the fact that the pieces of sausage were larger than the red chunks of death. I won't be ordering anything at Uno's any time soon though... especially this.

1 comment:

Meg said...

i think we have the exact same taste in food. i refuse* to eat tomatos (or chunks snuck into sauces), most vegetables, all berries, all spicy foods, most seafood and anything margaux would currently deem "delicious."

*the refusual would, however, go out the window if any of those foods were fried or smothered in garlic and olive oil and THEN fried. and dipped in ketchup. with a paper towel as a napkin.